Between school difficulties, therapy, and “playdate” problems, it can be hard to imagine your child with special needs participating in extracurricular activities. The reality, however, is that the right extracurricular programs can give your child an amazing opportunity to show off their strengths, build confidence, make friends, and discover new interests.
Why extracurricular activities are important
Often parents underestimate extracurricular activities for their children with special needs. They may be more focused on their child’s schooling or therapy, or they feel that they simply don’t have the time or money to mess around with extracurricular activities. While this attitude is understandable, there’s a good chance you’re depriving your child of opportunities that could have made a significant difference in their lives. Here’s why:
After-school success builds confidence and respect. 1 When your child hits a home run, plays the piano at a concert, or earns a higher level martial arts belt, both you and your child see that he or she can succeed and even excel.
Extracurricular activities can empower your child to make friends and find a social niche. 2 Many children with special needs have problems with social interaction. And let’s face it: it’s hard to make friends while you’re in the classroom, on the bus, or in the cafeteria. Extracurricular activities are an opportunity to connect with other kids in a completely different way. Choose the right organization, and your child will suddenly have a built-in set of social connections.
Many children with special needs also have impressive abilities, regardless of the learning problems, social problems, or speech delays they may be dealing with. But that doesn’t mean they can’t run at the speed of the wind, paint like Picasso, or be successful Girl Scouts. It is important to recognize and develop these talents, especially when your child’s problems are so often at the center of discussion.
Some after-school activities can become lifelong interests. If your child is passionate about music, art, sports, dance, chess, or any other cultural activity while in school, this interest can give your child an outlet for life.
The skills your child learns after school can be just as important (or even more important) than the skills he or she learns in school. In school, your child is working on handwriting, standing in line, academic skills, proper classroom behavior . After school, your child can learn to be part of a team, to support and encourage others, or to try new things. He can also learn the rules of known games, gain respect, and build friendships. These are skills that will last a lifetime .
How to Choose an Activity
Many parents tend to make their children do what they loved as children or what their friends’ children do. This often works just fine for typically developing children. For children with special needs, however, it’s important to choose carefully, considering several factors:
Be realistic : The fact that your child can kick a ball doesn’t mean he’s ready for a full soccer team. However, he may be ready for something less challenging. Think carefully about what your child can really understand, do well, and what he can focus on for an extended period of time. Both you and your child will suffer if you start something he can’t finish.
Choose an activity your child is already interested in : Children with special needs may already be coping with unpleasant therapy procedures, difficult school expectations, school bullies and worse. After-school activities should be actively enjoyable for them.
Choose programs with simple rules and little competition : challenging team sports (for example) require high levels of physical, social, motor and cognitive skills. The same goes for many competitive activities, from musical theater (audition required) to dance team.
Consider shadowing or assisting your child for a while: in many cases, children with special needs need help when they start doing something, but once they get the hang of it, everything will be fine. If you have the time and opportunity, consider offering to shadow your child for the first few weeks. Alternatively, hire a helper who can support your child and intervene if a problem arises. This will reduce overall anxiety and may allow your child to become a full part of the organization.
Think about after-school programs for children with special needs: some children with special needs thrive in “special” programs such as Challenger Club, while others will find such programs childish or frustrating. If you’re not sure, check out typical and “special” activity options that may be of interest to your child.
Consider structured programs rather than open-ended programs : Many children with special needs do much better with structured programs such as Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts than with open-ended “exploratory” experiences. While no structure seems more acceptable, it can actually be extremely challenging for any child who does not yet have solid physical, emotional, and organizational skills.
Don’t disregard gender reassignment or lack of gender options : Of course, it is assumed that “most” boys like sports and “most” girls like dance. But children with special needs may not be aware of, care about, or date these stereotypes. If your son likes dancing or your daughter likes baseball, consider these options.
Include your child in the decision, but be realistic : your daughter may want to do dance, but she may not have the skills or discipline for a full-blown ballet program that she knows about. Consider finding a less tonal, more acceptable dance program that she can fully engage in, even if her grande jete needs work.
Be aware of sensory issues : many children with special needs are unusually sensitive to loud noise, heat, strong smells, and bright light.
Remember that “after school” can mean “at school” or in the community : sometimes the options available in the community (like sports games instead of school games) are more appropriate for children with special needs.
Choose an activity your child is good at : after your child leaves school, she deserves a chance to prove herself. Is she a great swimmer? Is he a great drawer? Find opportunities for your child to show what he can do well.
Talk to the person or people running the program : Talk about your child’s strengths and challenges. How will the coach or instructor handle it if your child has a difficulty or even a nervous breakdown? You will probably walk away knowing that this is a good match.
Understand what your child is getting into : what is really expected of a child who joins a Boy Scout or amateur soccer league? If your child needs support, are they available? If your child has a problem, how will the instructor or coach respond? Make sure your child is able to do what is expected of him or her (or, if necessary, has the necessary support).